Debbie Mayo Smith - December 2013 - The World Won’t End If You Don’t Cook Their Dinner

The World Won’t End If You Don’t Cook Their Dinner

If you are like my husband Steve and I, you are a very, very busy parent with 101 responsibilities. You have children, and probably a pet or two.

I thought I’d share with you my strategy for trying to keep a more ‘living the life you love mentality’ amid all the responsibilities of being a parent, a partner, a cleaner, a cook, a dog walker as well as a marketer, a salesperson, an administrator etc, for my sole practitioner business.

Nothing burns my soul more than around dinner time, no matter how hard Steve and I worked that day, six lazy lugs camping out on the living room sofa. Or in their beds. Their attention absorbed by a screen. It’s no longer just television. Now it’s either their phone, laptop, tablet, game controller or combination of two/three that is  riveting their attention.

Now I’m not going to complain too much about our six. They’re high achievers out of the home that is (head boys, sports captains, national sport medal winners, Excellences in school). But what is it that makes them unable, no totally unwilling to help out in the house?

We used to have a rotating job chart that worked when they were little (here’s the link to download a weekly or quarterly one. It’s simply marvellous for younger children http://www.successis.co.nz/jobs.htm).

My only bit of parental advice for those with very young children is not to tie pocket money to doing chores around the house. It works great when they’re four or five. But as they age, you’ll start to get ‘how much will you pay me for it’ when you ask them to do a little extra.  Ask any parent. They’ll verify this fact.

Anyway, now that our lot is in their late teens and twenties; and Steve and I both want more time freed up; I’ve come to the conclusion that the world won’t end if their rooms are a tip and if their mother or father doesn’t cook their dinner for them. In other words our job description doesn’t read ‘only source of dinner meals’ any more. 

I used to fight with them to clean their room. Now I let it go for perhaps 21 days or so. I used to fight with them to help make dinner with me – chopping veggies or the like (on a rotating person basis). I’ve now let that go. While of course I still cook dinner as well as Steve, there are several days a week where we don’t feel like it or don’t have the time. If the kids refuse to help or cook amongst themselves (shock of all shocks), then we all fend for ourselves. We call it ‘easy dinner’.  I’ve simply stopped purchasing goodies – you know cookies, candy, cake, junkish food. This way their cooking involves eggs, cereal, toasted sandwiches.

The net result?

You’ll think I’m a terrible mother perhaps by doing this but you know, Steve and I both enjoy more free time. There’s much less stress and arguments for both us and the kids. Less mealtime clean-up and dishes. They don’t seem to have suffered any ill effects, nor have we.

I don’t believe this is an isolated experience with our family. My other piece of advice (in the don’t make the same mistake I did book) is as your children age, be sure to teach them that running a home and family is a joint responsibility shared among everyone. This way you’ll ease your burden, prepare them for life away from home and hopefully offset future fights to trying to tear them away from their screens.

Article by Debbie Mayo-Smith.  In the top 7% of speakers worldwide and most in-demand in Australasia. For  quick tips and over 500 free articles, go to Debbie’s website. www.successis.co.nz